An Evening in Gay Paree

I've been struggling with whether or not I want to post this after I finished writing it. I know people from work read this blog, and while it may come as a shock to my friends at school, I'm not out at work. I never thought it was a subject that need to be mentioned, and I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable while still interning there. So I decided to just save it and sit on it for a while, but I wanted to write it down while it's fresh in my head. After a couple days, I've decided to publish it.

I went down to the Marais a few nights ago, also known as the gay capital of Paris. I guess I didn't know what to expect, but as I walked past rows of art galleries, tailor made suits, designer boutiques, and antique shops, I had to wonder if these people were living the gay dream, or if they had created it. Seriously though. Not only are most of these buildings older than my country, but they're older than the very notion of modern homosexuality.

Walking through the winding streets, I couldn't help but feel out of place in my ratty brown plaid button down and brown knit cap. Not very chic... How is it that I could be here in this gay Mecca, and feel like I would never fit in as a gay man? Me: The activist at school who sits in classrooms for educational panels, works election campaigns for transgendered rights in Cleveland, and writes senators and congressmen. Me: The person so confident in my sexuality that I have come out to a myriad of different emotions, and not all of them good. Me: The first openly gay president of my Fraternity chapter. I didn't feel comfortable in the quartier that was supposed to belong to me. I mean, this place had at least a hundred years of the development of homosexual indentity under its belt. I have what, 20?

My thoughtful wandering continued for quite a while before I realized something else shocking: I was lost. I had no clue where I was, or how I had gotten there. I looked around, and this didn't seem like the safest place to pull out my map, either. Shit. The road up ahead looked familiar, so I decided to take it. At the very least it might take me to some where a bit better lit and better for map reading...

And that's when I found it. About two-thirds down the street, there was a store tucked in the corner that had a small rainbow sticker, pamphlets of "The Gay Guide to Paris" at the counter, and looked just right for a gay man wearing brown plaid and a knit hat. The whole front of the store was clothing, and the back had some of the seedier garments. It didn't scream out its existence, but it was there it was, non-stereotypical, unapologetic, and fantastic. Without realizing it, I spent over an hour browsing the place, before selecting a few things that weren't too expensive, and not too racy and leaving.

Just a little bit up the road, I saw the metro station. I found myself walking with a new spring in my step. Today, I found a new part of myself. A non-sterotypical, unapologetic, fantastic part of myself. I'm excited for these moments to keep coming.